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Sabaydii,
Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘My home for so long’
Hakphaang,
Kongkeo Saycocie
Back to
For quite some time
Haven’t had a chance to visit
My old home yet
Wasn’t that
I didn’t miss home
In fact I did
For the last 10 years or so
I had been living at that house
Will all the hopes and dreams
Only it knew
Yet the house wasn’t big
Compared to the two concrete ones
Around us
It was quite insignificant
Still we loved it
With all our hearts
Of all other things
It gave my big family a shelter
A place to cover our heads
Rain or sun
Mom told me
We put everything into this house
All our savings
All mom’s jewelry
Once proudly displayed
on her neck and arm wrist
In another word
This house was the sacrifice
A mom could give
For her children
Yet it was hard to believe
Dad worked for so long
With a job no less significant
And still so far
We didn’t own a single home
I guess
That is what honesty gives you
In a land where
The longer your hand is
The bigger share of a pie
You would get
Today
For the first time in 17 years
I was back
Among the things that touched my heart
Among the places I couldn’t
Replicate anywhere else
As soon as I stepped down the car
In DongMieng road
Cutting past my house
I was sad to see
My residence for so long
Hidden from a tall and colossal building
Blocking all the view
To the outside world
Was told
Grandpa gave part of the land
To his younger brother
Rightfully ours
As a return
This was what we got
A shrunken lot
With only a tiny path
Separated my home
From that big concrete
As I got closer
The tiny path suddenly turned into
A muddy trail
With difficulty
I managed to make my way through
If only dad were to be here
He would be chagrined to see
His beloved home turning into
A sad little place
Just look at the staircases
Leading to the front door
It was about to crumble
At any time
As I remember
My house was quite nice and sturdy
The first floor made out of bricks
The second floor of first quality wood
Easily lasted tens of years
My room a separate building
Attached to the main house
By the alley leading to the kitchen
Was quite a heaven
As I was the king there
To assert my authority
I even put up a sign in front
Telling anyone to take off the shoes
Before entering
Yet 17 years had passed
And still I felt like yesterday
My ‘brother’ my mom had raised
Since his teenager years
Was residing in this house
Likely he would be the one
Legally owned it
Since none of us
Many as we are
11 altogether
would come back
and live in Muang Lao again
Ai[1] Kham my ‘brother’
With his grown up kids
Now having family of their own
Fully occupied the house
I was told
If only I came back to
A year earlier
I would have met my maternal grandpa
Who opted to stay in
Instead of relocating to the
And likely died there
This grandpa had a great faith in me
A faith that he saw none
In his grandchildren
For a light that could shine in the darkness
Don’t want to say
How he misread me
At the same time
Don’t want to compound
How the country’s misfortune
Had brought a toll on
Many promising LukLao LarnLao[2]
It would be a while
Before this LukLao LarnLao
Could comfortably
Soar the vast sky again
With the last look
At our home
So much meant to my parents
And to me as a young man then
I said ‘goodbye’
To this sanctuary and Ai Kham’s family
Took off
Crying inside
For many years gone by
And for nothing!
9.2.03